Guest Blog by Mallory Love, Director of Client Services, He’s For Me
At the risk of revealing a matchmaker’s trade secrets, I can no longer stand by with you out there wondering how matchmaking can make a difference in your life. I live it. I do it every day, and have for nearly two years. So, this summer, while the boss was taking some time off, I took the liberty of writing my helpful tips for those bachelors who could benefit from working with a “love agent” if you will. Here’s some advice from those of us behind the desk:
1. Matchmakers do not judge, so don’t be nervous. Everyone has a story. Each chapter of yours made you the multifaceted and interesting bachelor that you are today. We are interested in the journey that brought you to us.
2. Leave the ego at the door. When single, we often think that we are a 10. A great catch according to our friends, who think we just haven’t been discovered by another fantastic 10. They make it sound as though the perfect guy is going to show up on the doorstep in the middle of the night, like the stork dropped him off. But the truth is, each of us is better off thinking of ourselves as an 8, looking for another 8 to love us back. And to be COMPLETELY honest, if we truly have an open heart and mind, we could find a wonderful man that will love us for who we are, no matter his number or yours.
3. Matchmakers base our work in reality. That is where you, as the client, need to focus as well. It is okay to pop your head into the clouds every now and then, as long as you return back to earth. A good matchmaker will match you with someone who will choose you back. Otherwise it would be an endless search for a man with perfect abs (or bank account, or car) who won’t give you the time of day, since you are not what he is looking to date.
4. Be the man you want to meet. When we tell you to take some time to work on you, that usually means we know there is something that needs some fine-tuning before we set you up. Whether that be your health, your mindset, or your first date etiquette, put some work into it. And even if we aren’t specific about what you need to work on, go and get a good workout, a healthy meal, more water, and even a little Vitamin D on the face. What’s the harm? You may just discover you are an even more eligible bachelor than before!
5. Listen to us. We are professionals; we know what we are doing. We are certified in Matchmaking, as relationship professionals, and also provide unlimited Dating Coaching. We often say love is not a science. Love is an art form. Which means there can truly be no “love doctor”, but we are the closest thing you may get. Otherwise, you can keep getting set up by your half cousin with the gay guy from their office, with no other context, other than his being gay.
6. It may take a few matches to get it right. Just like dating on your own, we often work through a process of elimination. You wanted trustworthy, driven, successful, witty, with a love for travel and fit? We would likely match you with someone with a fit build for his height (with even greater potential), who is partner at his firm, and will travel the world with you. If he doesn’t feel like a fit, the next match may be slightly further down at his company, with a heart of gold, and less money in his savings account. But if you never give the quality person you are meeting a second chance, we can’t do much for you.
7. Give each bachelor a second chance for a first impression. Unless they plucked a hair from your head during dinner and started flossing with it, it wasn’t that bad. We believe it takes up to four meetings for you to truly know if you can see yourself spending more time with a new compatible bachelor. Most of us give up after one. It doesn’t sound like we are setting ourselves up for the best odds, does it?
8. Matchmakers can tell if you are truly ready for love. Sometimes we will not invite someone to become a client, as it takes a person that is truly prepared for a relationship and not someone looking for a dating service. We do what we do because we believe in it. You have to believe in it as well.
9. You must be completely transparent with us. We will with you. Your relationship with your matchmaker is completely private and confidential. Nothing of confidence you share will ever be shared with another party. It’s helpful if we know the good, bad, and ugly. We are your love agent. We should know the details of who you are and how or why.
10. Becoming a matchmaking client may change your life. We can attest to this. We have been matchmakers for years and have had clients achieve their goal in weight loss, received that dream promotion or career move, receive that award-winning nomination, and have had those fall in love. All because of the changes that come when taking the time to focus on YOU and hiring someone to do the hard part for them.
For more information on traditional introductions, courting, and dating for today’s modern gay man, visit He’s For Me, offline, personal matchmaking designed exclusively for select gay men seeking a long-term relationship – at www.H4M.com and like us on the H4Mmatchmaking Facebook Page for daily inspiration on finding love. #loveislove